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Thursday, February 20, 2014

What time of day do you like having sex?

So, a funny thing happened the other night...

I debated writing about this because it's intimate (also, I'm 35 now! a mother of two!) but I actually feel like I know my readers so well, and we're all friends here, right? So, a bit of girl talk.....

We went to bed like any other night—we brushed our teeth, we read books for a while, I'm sure I obsessed about something random, and then we fell asleep. And then, in the middle of the night, half asleep...we started making out. It was hazy and warm and totally spontaneous; we didn't even say anything. It was amazing. And, funnily enough, the next morning, when we did talk about it, neither of us could figure out who made that first move.

Having sex in the middle of the night felt like such a discovery! (Am I the last person to the party? Maybe everyone else does this?)

I'm curious: What time of day do you like having sex? I always prefer the morning or the afternoon. The least sexy time for me is at the end of the day, after a big pasta dinner and two glasses of wine, when I just feel like watching The Bachelor and putting on hiking socks:) What about you?

And this When Harry Met Sally scene, just for fun:
P.S. A hilarious prank in NYC, and why I love thongs. Plus, scheduling sex and having sex on your wedding night.

(Photos from Elisa/Flickr)

146 comments:

Aanna Greer said...

I've had this experience, too! And we never know who initiated! Ha! But it feels so natural and low-key and in that half-dream-state it can be insanely sexy. I like it a lot, but you can't exactly plan it, can you? :)

MollColl said...

Afternoon delight all the way :)

Ana Rinck said...

We don't have a "time". Whenever we feel like it. Sometimes it's the morning (usually on the weekends/days off/ holidays, etc) sometimes it's on the evenings (weekdays). We do keep a monthly tally, just for sh***s and giggles (we put little heart stickers in a calendar).

Kendra Collins said...

Love that you shared this :)

Joanna Goddard said...

aanna, i know! i wish you could plan it, but you can't exactly set an alarm:)

Philline Dilao said...

how sexy and sweet at the same time :) I like it in the morning too (except the afternoon outing gets a bit compromised as I get pretty sleepy). If the mid-night thing happens, that would be lovely.

Joanna Goddard said...

oh you're so right about woody allen! i was just thinking about annie hall the movie, but you're TOTALLY right. going to switch out right now.

Lauren Fraley said...

Agreed on the Woody Allen pic, but that said, the magic middle of the night sex isn't something that happens consistently, but when it does, it's exactly like you described - no idea who initiated it, why it happened, etc.!

Sara said...

i LOVE middle of the night dream-space sex, but it isn't something you can really attempt to do, is it? it just happens, uncontrollably, like a dream. i'm with you, though - i love it in the afternoon with all of my attention and energy.

MeghanTopjian said...

This has happened to us too!

SBJ said...

Thanks for changing the pic!

Joanna Goddard said...

thanks, SBJ!

måsh måsh said...

It's quite disturbing that a photo of Woody Allen was used initially for this post. So so wrong.

Thank you for changing it though!

NICOLE said...

Oh yes, I've experienced this! I think the thing that makes it special is that it's one of those rare moments when both people want the exact same thing at the exact same time and somehow it is seemlessly executed without words. Add to that the "dream-state" and it's pretty much perfection.

Julia Neary said...

That's so funny because some of my hottest times having sex with my fiancé are in the middle of the night. It is so hard to explain why it's the best and so hot because you are both basically asleep, but I love it.
My fav time of day though is when he comes home from work. It's right before dinner so we still feel energized and is such a good way to unwind after a long day!

mapleandmacaron.blogspot.com

Kamila said...

Hi Joanna, I'm a big fan of Annie Hall myself and completely got the reason behind the photo. I wasn't at all offended, just wanted to let you know :)

Tracy S said...

Oh I'm glad you share this, I've had the same experience with my husband when we were camping last year. Dang, it was insanely good ;)

megan said...

Middle of day sex is great, so is morning sex. Since I've entered my 30's I seem to be insatiable. Does anyone else notice this?

sofia.romps said...

This happens in my house pretty often actually:) It is one of my favorites. Sleeping in the nude will def increase the chances if this happening!

Rudey R said...

hahaha. I have absolutely experienced that, and like you said, it sort of just happens and then you fall back to sleep and then next morning are like, what? Great, though. My favorite time right now is on a Saturday or Sunday morning while the girls are watching cartoons :) (My girls are 4 and 7). We sort of slip away from drinking coffee in the living room and head to the bedroom.

Joanna said...

Am I allowed to say all of the time? :)

If I had to choose then is have to say morning. I'm not sure what it is, because morning breath and eye boogera are the exact opposite of sexy. But there's just something about waking up with a man you adore and feeling him everywhere at the start of your day.

In a funny note, my ex called morning sex "apples for breakfast." It's always made me giggle :)

Mary Schaubert said...

I've never had the middle of the night experience, but I TOTALLY agree about morning or in the afternoon. I'm really not a fan of bedtime sex - I'm pretty much ready to fall asleep then and it no longer sounds appealing. Also, I hate how the movies show bedtime sex - like, they just roll over and fall asleep without getting up to pee or brush their teeth or shower or anything afterwards? Ick. I bed no one does that!

Joanna said...

Clearly I'm typing on my phone and struggling today, ha!

Lana said...

Yeah, I agree about the pic. Woody creeps me out more than ever now. BUT! I love middle of the night sex, too! It's so intimate and warm.

collette said...

First thing in the morning, or when we put a taped show on for the kids and have 30 minutes or less. but now, we have a beagle, and he doesn't understand why he gets locked out. LOL.

joana said...

love the post!!
i love middle of the night sex! it may be my favorite, actually! although i really love it in the morning too (apart from the morning breath thing which makes me feel self-conscious ;)) and basically any time of day aha.
i wonder if it's true that from 30 up you get even more into it, because if it is i'm in for a treat! ;)

Amy P said...

I miss other-than-nighttime sex. The toddler and baby definitely notice when we attempt to slip out...
Usually by the end of the day I'm just done. No interest left. If the stars align on a weekend then they both nap at the same time and we can get to it :) Pre-kids we used to both start work at 5am and then have afternoon sex and a fantastic nap afterwards before waking up for dinner!

Samantha H. said...

I honestly think that if you're a regular Cup of Jo reader, you woukd know that Joanna didn't chose that picture just because and didn't mean to offend any of you. To say that it could cost her readers, I say you're welcome to stop reading her blog, cause you obviously don't know her (as a blogger, I mean)

Anyway...

On the sex subject, my boyfriend and I usually meet at his place during the week to go to the gym, and sometimes we have sex before leaving (yeah, not the best idea to have sex before the gym, but let's see it as a warm up:)
When we go out on Saturdays I usually stay at his place, and on Sundays we stay in and spend the whole day sleeping/having sex, not knowing who started, but who cares cause it's awesome.

Scout and Rice said...

How funny, husband and I were just talking about this the other day. He often initiates sex if we both happen to be awake, but I almost always shut him down because I'm so desperately clinging to sleep!

I think like this; 'Nooo I'm awake! QUICK! GO BACK TO SLEEP! Only three more hours until the small one is awake! NEED SLEEP!'

I should probably be more open to midnight sex. We used to do it a lot and it's nice!. :)

Rebeka said...

I love that you shared this! Thank you! I'm with everyone else who is saying morning - even though morning breath is so un-sexy, there's just something about the mornings that's so good. And yes, my friends and I were just talking about evening being the most un-sexy time. Anything past like 10o'clock is pretty much a big n-o. Ha!

Ecochic said...

Morning.

Our sex life is hurting right now, though. We seem to only be interested in sex on Saturday mornings. Sometimes we can get going on a weekday morning, but hardly ever at night. I am just too exhausted and can't turn my mind off at night, and he is too exhausted from his martial arts classes and his work, too.

Mornings are great because nothing has happened in the day yet and you can just focus on each other.

Christen said...

For us it's when we put our three year old and baby to bed in the early evening. It's so nice because we aren't tired yet and it puts us in a happy, relaxed mood. We then enjoy a drink and sit outside and chat or watch whatever new show we're into, right now it's House of Cards.

Rachel Powell said...

I'm so glad you posted this! I was starting to think I'm the only person that gets so tired after dinner & tv! I just want to sleep! For me, the afternoon is the best. I used to get off work early on Fridays and it became a Friday afternoon ritual to just meet up in the bedroom when I got home! :) So fun!

Shannon Karas said...

This happens to me and its always my husband who initiates. For some reason, it gets me every time. I never turn him down in the middle of the night. And its always great! That said, it probably only happens a handful of times a year. (middle of the nite:)).

Sara Po oi said...

I am totally a night time person, I like the intimacy of the night. I actually hate morning sex because I feel so gross and I hate morning breath, I may be extra sensitive to it because not many others seem to care.

Jane@Buzzmills said...

OMG!! This happens to my husband and I A LOT!! It's fabulous! and so fun/funny...chatting about it the next morning ;)

joanna goddard said...

collette, i love that!!

seven & soda said...

Hi Joanna, I've been wanting to access some of your older posts, but they no longer seem to be visible. I tried your link to "thong post" from this one and also have tried to see your post about nursing blues (I'm currently blue as anything and weaning my son, so I wanted to reread your thoughts on the process as I don't have any friends who have experienced this). Is it just me who can't see some posts? Would love your help! Thanks!

Bri Towne said...

morning sex is the best. but, those times are few and far between with two babies. especially since we share a room with our 8week old now :)

MelanieKPrice said...

Love that you wrote about this! I love the afternoon for these moments but my hubby LOVES early morning. Being a horrible morning person, I never fight it but it is not my favorite time. But I never regret it...haha!

Have an awesome day!

Liz A said...

I am ALL for morning! I think I'm just too tired and out of energy by the end of the day when we go to bed. And in the morning I am refreshed and ready to go

jean raper said...

Love this!! My husband and I have done this a few times and .... WOW! It's amazing...unlike anything! ❤️❤️

Joanna Goddard said...

seven & soda, that's so odd! the posts are working on my computer, but i'm not sure what it might be....

for the weaning post, here's the direct link. maybe you could try pasting it into a different browser (firefox, chrome, etc.)?
http://joannagoddard.blogspot.com/search/label/postpartum%20depression

and i'm so sorry to hear that you've had the blues!! it's so tough, but it does pass, i promise!! sending you a big hug and lots of love.

Carrie said...

Thank you for changing the picture!!! I didn't want to say anything but it was hard to look at on my feed.

We almost always have sex before we go to bed, if we're adventurous then during the day.

Maiken Day said...

Speaking of sleep, how is Anton sleeping nowadays? I hope you are getting more rest!

Mary Sue Denninghoff said...

I call it "sleep sex" and my husband is always the initiator. I usually wake up and he's already naked. ;)

Joanna Goddard said...

mary sue, haha, that is awesome.

Button For A Bird said...

Ha, this has happened before. It almost felt like a dream and I have no idea how it begins. But I enjoy morning sex just because it seems like a nice way to start the day.

aleisha
http://buttonforabird.blogspot.com

Joanna Goddard said...

maiken, thanks for asking! he is doing really well! we did sleep training and he now sleeps from about 7pm-6am. i feel like a new person :)

Bird said...

"hazy" is a perfect way to describe middle of the night. it is a favorite, maybe low pressure?

Puppy Mommy said...

Nope, never going to get used to "making out" as a synonym for sex.
Middle-of-the-night sex is delicious, though!

Lauren E. said...

My mind is blown! I thought my boyfriend and I were the only weirdos who did this! It is truly amazing. And I'm with you, my least favorite time is at the end of the day. I'm a 3pm gal myself ;)

PS Love these "girl talk" posts.

elizabeth said...

I prefer mid day or early evening. In the morning, I'm too groggy and hungry for breakfast. After dinner, I'm also always full from dinner and tired from what is usually a long day.

elizabeth said...

I prefer mid day or early evening. In the morning, I'm too groggy and hungry for breakfast. After dinner, I'm also always full from dinner and tired from what is usually a long day.

The 'Tooth & Argyle said...

Great post! When people say this happens, it always reminds me of this article I read about old patterns of human sleep, called "two sleeps." And so between sleeps, in the middle of the night, people would often use that time to have sex. So interesting! http://www.bbc.co.uk/news/magazine-16964783

My husband surprisingly wouldn't have the desire to do that, but I may try ;-) We need to get more creative, bc even without kids yet we become more and more tired by the day.

Claire said...

This happens to me at least once a month and it is always the best sex ever. I think we figured out that I usually start it, though. My husband usually falls asleep later than me and I'll start making the moves while sleeping.

rawketstarling said...

That's so funny how many people say they like morning sex--it's my least favorite time! I feel all groggy and a little puffy and to be so very frank--I can't get as...er....ready...as I like. HE likes it, of course, and I'll always go along, but personally I'm an afternoon person! Or a right-before-dinner person, cause then I'm so hungry! haha. He's started doing this thing about 4 in the morning--I thought he was getting out of bed (he's an early riser/overnight shift) and kissing my back out of sweetness.....let's just say that was not what he was doing ;) It was so hot--him being sooo horny that it completely wakes me up and turns me on.

Melanie Yarbrough said...

Yes, we've done this! I think it's usually him that initiates it, though :) But yeah, I'm usually a morning person, too, or generally unexpected times. At night, I'm usually ready to go to sleep. I guess that's why middle of the night is good, I get a little nap in before :)

Unknown said...

Thank you for changing the pic, Johanna.

Ashley said...

This middle of the night sex thing...it happens a lot with us... Well maybe a little less now but honestly, it was happening so much I was kind of like can we please do this fully conscious one of these days?

kezzie said...

Love this post
For those of you offended by the woody Allen photo, did you read his piece in the New York Times? And the article written by the guy who did his documentary? It was in the daily beast. Just check them out and maybe you will be able to look at his face and see his films without getting offended :)

my little apartment said...

Mary Sue, we also call it sleep-sex! My husband (then just my boyfriend) started initiating it when we'd only been dating a few weeks and we were both so blush-y about it at first. He was like "This has never happened with anyone else!" But it's totally hot and I love it. There's actually a technical term for someone who initiates sex in their sleep: sexsomnia! (And if you're a super-nerd like me, you might have seen the Law & Order SVU episode that starts with a guy who's a sexsomniac)

It happens a few times a month, generally like once a week...Definitely my favorite time. And mornings are fun too.

Donna W said...

This is why I love your blog! I just never know what you're gonna post next.:) It's like a little adventure. Thanks so much for sharing!

xoxo

Donna

Elizabeth said...

i love middle of the night, the hazy/dreamy space makes it soo good. :)

Cheryl said...

I have two kids too (ages 3.5 and 7) and I totally have become a morning sex girl. I was like that before but even moreso now. I'm just too tired by the end of the day now. Morning is nice and quiet. The kids usually sleep an hour later during weekends and since I generally still wake up the hour earlier it works.

Cheryl said...
This comment has been removed by the author.
MegFeller said...

My husband and I like to have sex when he gets home from work before dinner. We don't do it all the time but It's a fun way to say that I missed you. And on weekends we are sex in the morning types.

Gennea said...

Afternoon, for sure. Then throw in a quick post-coital nap. Pure bliss.

Unfortunately, this only happens on the weekends as I am in the office until 7p or 8p weekdays. I do notice that around 3p or 4p (yes, even at the office) my mind always wanders thinking about my handsome hubby!

Gennea said...

As for the midnight version, on the weekends it's totally awesome but on a weekday, I dread it. This girl needs her beauty rest. Otherwise I am totally grumpy or can't get out of bed and am therefore late to the office.

lessthanperfectmama.com said...

One of the things I miss most about the days of dating my husband is how we could do it whenever we wanted! I'd sleep over and he'd wake me up in the middle of the night or in the very early morning as the sun was rising. Then we'd go back to sleep for a while. Ahhhh..so dreamy. I agree, after dinner and putting the kids to bed it's not always easy to summon your inner diva.

Becky-lee said...

My husband always does this, but he's sleeping when it starts, sometimes we carry on and it's fantastic, sometimes I get cranky at being woken up or eventually he does lol, and its like hey bucko you hot me all hot and heavy and now yor like, I'm sleeping ... It's either infuriating, comical or magic!

ohnomyboots said...

I'm with MollColl, all about those sky rockets in flight.

Sofia Loves said...

Afternoon is the best time. In the middle of the night is amazing, espontâneos and out of routine. When happens it 's too food to be true ;)

Nicole said...

all of the afternoon and 3pm people - i'm so jealous! we don't get home from work until 6 at the earliest!

Joanna Goddard said...

ooh, "two sleeps" is so interesting! thanks for the link!

Kari @ The Kari Diaries said...

Sex in the middle of the night is so sexy. It's unplanned and feels so organic; it's almost like magnets drawn to each other despite being asleep. Clearly, I'm all about the romance!

Gretchen said...

This sounds amazing! I wonder why this doesn't happen with my husband and me. OH right, because our 4 year old has been sleeping between us since we had our second child. TEN MONTHS AGO :/ Sounds like it's time to transition her back to her room! ;)

Gretchen said...
This comment has been removed by the author.
SpeakingFondly said...

love this post! this has definitely happened to me before and i think it's incredibly sexy. my italian totally initiates it in the middle of the night. but this is our habit: we'll end up saying good night/gnight kisses/turn over but then get all sexy with each other like a good solid 10/15 minutes later JUST as we're about to fall asleep. afterwards, we'll say something like, "oh we better get to sleep, we have to work tomorrow. good night!" but then it'll happen AGAIN! sure enough, it'll be several hours past when we initially said good night. it's incredibly hard to wake up the next morning for work, to say the least.

but give me my italian anytime of the day, and i'm a happy girl ;)

Carrie Dixon said...

I dated a guy who would work in one city for 5 weeks and another for 5 weeks, alternating between 2 cities. On one trip to my city this same thing happened. Although, he admitted to initiating. It was so sweet and tender. We talked about it the next day and he said "I love you. How can I sleep next to you for the first time in 5 weeks and not want to make out with you?" I made me feel so sexy.

HannahT said...

just love that you shared this. im like a dead body in my sleep so when this does happen with my boyfriend... he usually has to remind me! It's like I'm sleep-sexing!

Rachael {All Things Beautiful} said...

Ah middle of the night magic! LOVE this too! It's crazy how you feel half asleep but so into it at the same time. And you're so right.. we never know who initiated it either.. it just happens :) Love the unexpectedness of it!

Courtney W. said...

I love that you shared this! Sounds romantic.

Jena said...

My husband and I have been married for 17 years and middle of the night sex has always been in heavy rotation. I used to always think he initiated it but in the last several years I've realized that it's actually ME!!! But it is always the hottest sex. As for the uptick in libido once you hit 30? Wait until your late 30's/early 40's - off.the.hook. No one is complaining in my house though. One of the many good things about getting older!!! Not sure if it has to do with age/hormones or maybe the age of your youngest child. When my 3rd (and last) was around 2.5, was when the libido increased.

Stephanie said...

Ha! This has totally happened to us and I agree, it's so hot. Now that there is a little person sleeping in between us though, we've had to get a little more creative and "nap" time is pretty much our go time if it's gonna happen during the day.
I'm curious, have you transitioned Anton to the boys' room? You mentioned fearing how it would turn out.

EatWellTravelOften said...

This may seem awfully off topic,but in a way it isn't...
I've read you have sleep trained Anton. I'm curious which book and or method you chose,as i am a sleep deprived mother of 7 month old twins. 7pm to 6am sounds a lot of sleep...
...And if I slept more, maybe we would get to have some sex again,to connect to the topic. Though probably stil not for the "afternoon delight" which is my favorite.

Elisabeth said...

I'm with you, Joanna. Mornings and afternoons. By the time we get to bed… the last thing I really want is sex. Socks and the Bachelor sound fantastic :-)

D2 said...

Joanna, great topic. Love how open you are about everything. Agree w/ you on mornings and afternoons. Also, middle of the night romps are the best! Love that when you wake up in the AM and are chatting about who started what. SO fun. Also, did you see the article in The Atlantic about Why Is It So Hard for Women to Write about Sex? Bravo to you! http://www.theatlantic.com/magazine/archive/2014/03/why-is-it-so-hard-for-women-to-write-about-sex/357574/

Madysen said...
This comment has been removed by the author.
Madysen said...

I love those nights! You never know exactly who starts it and you never really know when it ends. It makes me feel so cared for.

midwestmisplant.blogspot.com

Lendy Salazar said...

Joanna this post makes me live you even more! Middle of the night is always amazing! After reading this post & comments it made me realize that after having my daughter (12 month old) are spontaneous sex has gone out the door! And morning sex just is not my cup of tea! Because I am an over thinker! I get way hung up on the stinky breath! Haha! But honestly after reading everyone's comments on morning/afternoon sex...I think I may need to step outside the box! I'm certain my husband won't mind! Love the honesty everyone!

Bek said...

My husband and I call this 'dreamy sex' and it's our favourite! Haha - it's always him that initiates, although I never mind!

Sharita Hyppolite said...

Jo this is why I read your blog religiously! Sooo real and totally random. (Thongs! Lol!) Anyway, I love doing it in the middle of the day while the kids are away so I can make as much noise as I want! You rock Jo!!!

Lady J said...

late morning or mid afternoon or right before we have to meet friends (it seems dangerous and risky...or we're lame) and sleepy sex like you described.

Adaleta said...

The awkward thing is that my current boyfriend truly likes having sex at night, but I would like to explore more options. Perhaps this middle of the night idea should be something I instigate!

Siriusly Kate said...

Sleepy Sex....the middle of the night is best :)after that would be morning and afternoon.

Siriusly Kate said...
This comment has been removed by the author.
Karen in VA (was CT) said...

I love your blog, and love reading your reader's comments. I fall in with the crowd here.

As a blogger, I understand your desire to keep everyone happy. It's just such a shame that a spurned woman can be so successful in changing the reputation of her former lover. And with the most lethal of weapons. This accusation was investigated thoroughly, nobody was paid off .. there was simply no evidence. Yet she's successful in keeping it alive.

Every time I see this kind of public reaction to no evidence, I find it disturbing.

You do a great job ... thanks as always.

Unknown said...

This is how we accidentally got pregnant with our 3rd. Sleepy, wrapped up in the moment, and careless.

Unknown said...
This comment has been removed by the author.
RLa said...

LOL! We call that "Sleepy Sex" in our house. It's dreamy and relaxed. It is very entertaining to recap the next morning. I'm glad I'm not the only one who has discovered this!

Kadija Tyler said...

This has happened a couple of times and let me just say, WOOOO HOOOO!!!!

I will say that it typically ends up being at night because my little one is asleep and there is less to worry about, so the morning/middle of the day feels really special.

RLa said...

LOL! We call that "Sleepy Sex" in our house. It's dreamy and relaxed. It is very entertaining to recap the next morning. I'm glad I'm not the only one who has discovered this!

Roseann Bath said...

I've totally been there. It's pretty awesome. And we can never figure out who instigated it either. Sometimes I am so sleepy that in the morning I think I dreamt it and I have to ask him. :D

I love this post Joanna, you're adorable.

...and I think I'm going to jump my husband's bones when he walks through the door. ;)

Sarah said...

Love this post. And love reading the comments. I am oy confused why people don't just brush their teeth and have morning sex! That's what I do - wake up, pee, brush teeth and hop back into bed for some good mornin' lovin'!

~Love Lis said...

Pretty sure that's how I got pregnant. One summer night. . . ;) AFter four years of trying to get pregnant, hey, it worked! It's the best.

classified. said...

So glad to see this post! Its a beautiful thing to have these conversations to always be growing in our marriages....

Middle of the night sex is absolutely the best. We are certain that we conceived our middle child this way.

As parents to three girls who are really eager to eavesdrop now days, we have to be quite careful with these things.

As of now, middle of the night is a lovely little treat but otherwise we will wake up very early in the morning before anyone else is up at times [pee first, brush teeth] & then hop to it...or at night.

Our girls have ALWAYS gone to bed at 8 pm and it gives them plenty of time to fall asleep before anything takes place.

However, we have our dog, who is 11 and still shames me with her looks anytime I get naked and she sees us together...Its TERRIBLE. & whats worse is that now I actually feel guilty when she looks at us...ha!

Last week, we slipped away into the laundry room in our garage after the kids were in bed for some fun.

After almost 12 years, being spontaneous is absolutely crucial and a wonderful way to keep the spark.

Great post!

E AF said...

Ha! So funny that you wrote about this because my husband does this all the time. He'll initiate in his sleep and have absolutely no recollection the next morning! (actually happened two nights ago) I usually don't entertain the whole thing because it wakes me up and I'm exhausted, but when I told him about his most recent attempt the other morning, he says, "Oh come on! Give dream Matthew (I picked a random name) some action!" So maybe next time I'll go with it. :)

Schenck catherine said...

I've this experience only once!
I'm all for sex in the afternoon, it's called something like "nasty nap" in French but in a funny way. I hate the morning bc of morning breath, that would freeze any libido I might have at that time. I'm like you, I don't like it after dinner, it's mellow and digestion time!

Gina said...

I also had the midnight sex experience some time ago, we never knew who initiated and we never said a word while making it, but it was wonderful.

I'm an afternoon sex person, too, and I find it pretty difficult to have sex in the morning, just after waking up, I need to have breakfast first! ha ha ha

Eliza Jane said...

I'm the same; night time is not sexy time. Middle of the night, though, like you guys the other night, THAT is hot. I've had that happen before in the past. It's always steamily magical.

*** KITSCH *** said...

I prefer nigths but not with kids...
Now that we have two... i am too tired at nights so i choose afternoon, but it is not my best...

Anastasia said...

yes my hubby and i have done this a few times...its nice! even better if you get to have a sleep in
in the morning..Ive been so tired lately! ha! when our boys were little and would have afternoon naps, Saturday afternoon was the perfect time to have sex, it felt a little kinkier during the day...

n said...

http://www.vanityfair.com/online/daily/2014/02/woody-allen-sex-abuse-10-facts

Pretty insensitive to put up Woody Allen picture up; unnecessary to rake up something like that. I enjoyed your blog because I trusted your taste and judgement.

I am sure you will not miss one of your billions of readers, because I will not visit anymore.

A. Sparkle said...

Ok so I'm glad im not the only one that feels like being a vegetable after dinner! I'm full.. I don't feel sexy after that.. Lol. Middle of the day sex is always awesome bc it's generally spontaneous. Just waking out of slumber, still fuzzy sex is the best though! It's like you're in a dream, but not really and everything thing feels incredibly good. Yups. That's where it's at. ��

a.m.l. said...

you have often highlighted woody allen on this blog, and each time my stomach turned, however that is your right. to support and endorse whoever you please. and just like you have the right to your opinion, i have mine, and i will no longer be visiting your blog. and i won't be buying anything from anyone who sponsors you.

Christa Tubach said...

I've had that experience as well, and we love to chat and try to figure out what happened! I'm usually a mid afternoon/early evening girl. I get too tired at night and just have tunnel vision on sleeping, ha!

I can't wait to send this link to my boyfriend, he will get such a kick out of it!

Mariama Bramble said...

Morning sex is the best way to start the day.

Unknown said...

Hahaha! I'm dying that you posted this! We are a morning couple, even on our busiest days. It's a great way to start the day, but we just had an experience like that, too! Enjoy!

Jess West said...

2pm. On the dot. Every day. I used to work evenings and he would come home from work for a late lunch most days and it was perfect. But then we moved and my schedule changed and now I work weekends and it is so frustrating!

dc said...

I read a book about sleep that said humans used to sleep in two segments. They'd wake up in the middle of the night and talk, smoke, pray, have sex etc. Here's an explanation:

And these hours weren’t entirely solitary – people often chatted to bed-fellows or had sex.”
A doctor’s manual from 16th Century France even advised couples that the best time to conceive was not at the end of a long day’s labour but “after the first sleep”, when “they have more enjoyment” and “do it better”.

Ekirch found that references to the first and second sleep started to disappear during the late 17th Century. This started among the urban upper classes in northern Europe and over the course of the next 200 years filtered down to the rest of Western society.

By the 1920s the idea of a first and second sleep had receded entirely from our social consciousness.

He attributes the initial shift to improvements in street lighting, domestic lighting and a surge in coffee houses – which were sometimes open all night. As the night became a place for legitimate activity and as that activity increased, the length of time people could dedicate to rest dwindled.” - Source

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Unknown said...

Apparently this used to be the norm, called Bimodal sleep, it was common to have a waking period in the middle of the night, and obviously this is when many people got it on ;) http://www.bbc.co.uk/news/magazine-16964783

cynthia cidade said...

before two kids in middle of day, after two kids in middle of the nigth!!!

Bethany said...

Thank you for changing the photo, Joanna. I love the movie Annie Hall, but considering the whole debacle based on Dianne Keaton's comments about Allen at the Golden Globes and the allegations about his abuse of Dylan Farrow, I can't ever look at it the same way again. We SHOULDN'T look at it the same way, because it comes at someone else's expense - Dylan, and all the abuse survivors like her. There are abuse survivors that read this blog. Their voices and experiences should be taken into consideration when we post things. So all of you that say "well I wasn't offended by it" - all that means isn't that it wasn't personal to you, probably because you don't know what it's like to come face-to-face with your abuser over and over again as his "genius" is lauded in the media.

Making it Anywhere said...

Great post! I'm the same way Jo, after dinner or a few drinks, no one wants to be sloshing around, so un-sexy. On weekends It's first thing in the morning, Sunday morning pre- brunch MUST! But on week nights we make it a priority to make time for it before dinner, or before we go out. we will sit, chat unwind from the day, sip a half a drink, then go for it. Our friends know not to make plans earlier than 7:00... or we will be late...

Tracy said...

Your last line cracked me up!!! So, I'm not the only one who wears hiking socks to bed!? (So unsexy ~ but sooooo cozy!!)
Ahh, those middle of the night rendezvous ~ haven't done that in a while...but it may be the topic of conversation this weekend. And then, who knows...!
Great post! ;)

Making it Anywhere said...

Man, Joanna, I have to say that I am surprised by the backlash from the orig. photo... I didn't see it, so I dunno... But I don't personally know Mr. Allen, or his family, or the history of their dynamics... so I hesitate to pass judgement on any of them, since it really isn't my, or anyone's business but their's. You have a great blog.It stinks that you started the post with "we're all friends here, right?" and then some pretty unfriendly stuff was said. I appreciate that you do treat us like friends and are authentic in this blog, that is what makes it compelling and keeps me reading!

Making it Anywhere said...
This comment has been removed by the author.
Cheryl said...

I definitely are more into it in the morning or in the afternoon (delight!) . . evening is OK if I feel fresh enough and awake! :)

Kendriana said...

I'm still a virgin, hopefully one day I'll have the answer! At this point any time of the day or night seems right to me!!!! :D

Unknown said...

It is a good and actually natural time for this.

Before modern conveniences - e.g., lamps and books and laptops and TV - people often went to bed earlier, but awoke in the middle of the night. After all, one can only sleep so much. The time before going back for second sleep was filled with quiet reflection, planning one's day and having sex.

In fact, some belief that insomniacs are actually just behaving naturally in a world that has removed part of our night.

See: http://disinfo.com/2013/08/how-our-ancestors-used-to-sleep-twice-a-night-and-highlighting-the-problem-of-present-shock/

emily said...

All I can think is - wow, you have kids the exact ages as ours and you are in a bed TOGETHER, with no kids in it, not worried about being interrupted and not worried about using precious uninterrupted sleep time for sex. How did you pull this off?? I really want to know. We are dying here.

emily said...

All I can think is - wow, you have kids the exact ages as ours and you are in a bed TOGETHER, with no kids in it, not worried about being interrupted and not worried about using precious uninterrupted sleep time for sex. How did you pull this off?? I really want to know. We are dying here.

takecomfortproject said...

I don't necessarily have a favorite "time." I have to say 3 a.m. sex is pretty awesome. It's nice to talk about in the morning.

LisaB said...

Love this post. Totes afternoon people over here when the littles are down for afternoon nap....I have 2 the same age as T and A. Questions for you how did you sleep train and did you put them in the same room? Any tips would be SO appreciated. Still have babe in our room in pak n play, poor little lady. She is still up twice a night to feed although she is a chunka and I know she does not need those night feedings. Drooling over the day I can get her in her room with her brother. Please, any tips??? Thanks!

9b74dfde-9c00-11e3-9dae-000bcdca4d7a said...

Im a guy and read this blog once in a while. this was quite an interesting post. i know im in the minority here but am i the only guy? never tried middle of the night sex but i think mornings are best

btipps said...

this is so me and my husband too! We play the blame game of who was the "midnight bandit" every time. Whoever's to blame, would have to say its my favorite

btipps said...

this is so me and my husband too! We play the blame game of who was the "midnight bandit" every time. Whoever's to blame, would have to say its my favorite

Emily Woodford said...

So glad we aren't the only ones! It's so much fun, though, isn't it? :)

meghann halfmoon said...

I love that you shared this! So much fun when it happens. Like you said though, not really possible to plan. And the spontaneity is of course a big part of the fun.

Ashley Benjamin said...

Love this. Ash

Cherie said...

we call it "afternoon delight" as we like it after lunch. Or pre dinner, maybe it works up our appetite :)

Nicole said...

Yep this has happened and it's the best ever!!! I also prefer morning. We feel so good and giddy and night time is hard with having just nursed kids to sleep and being so tired and end of the day need a shower mom. We have to get creative these days!!

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Caitlyn Listz said...

Mornings. When I have half my makeup on, brushing my teeth, and messy hair from being an active sleeper the night before. He wakes up around this time (I envy how quickly he can get ready for work.) and hugs me from behind with a sleepy, one eye open, smile reflecting back from the mirror. He spins me to face him and it starts ;)

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